Guides
A lot of the families who call me in January say the same thing: "We saw it at Thanksgiving." On the phone, Mom sounds fine. In person, you see the fridge, the mail, the way she holds the railing. Here is what to look for while you are home, and what to do next without starting a fight at the table.
This is not medical or financial advice. Confirm coverage with your plan or your state Medicaid office.
You are in the house for more than an hour, you see a full day, and you see it next to last year. Small changes add up. Placement and home care calls go up after the holidays every year for exactly this reason.
One sign alone is not a crisis. Look for patterns, write down what you see with dates, and talk with your brothers and sisters before you talk with your parent.
Falls are the big one. The CDC says about 1 in 4 adults 65 and older report a fall each year, and less than half tell their doctor. If you find out about a fall that nobody mentioned, take it seriously.
If what you notice is mostly memory, like repeating questions or getting lost on a familiar drive, read our signs a parent may need memory care guide too.
Common early signs are spoiled food, unopened mail and late bills, unexplained bruises or falls, missed or doubled medications, and a big change in hygiene or mood. One sign alone is not a crisis, but a pattern is worth acting on.
Pick a calm, private moment, start with something specific you saw, and ask what they want. Offer small help first, like a few hours of home care a week, before talking about a move.
In New Jersey, the Aging and Disability Resource Connection at 1-877-222-3737. In New York, NY Connects at 1-800-342-9871, or Aging Connect at 212-244-6469 in New York City.
No. Our help is free to families. We send 2 to 3 licensed best-fit options in writing from official state lists, and you visit them on your own.